Sub-Urban Sickness

Happy Birthday knutmeg1!

Okay, I think I've covered every medium for this birthday. I left a message on Facebook, I sent an e-card, I sent a text-message, I've posted a note on Livejournal, I've tweetened on Twitter, I've sent by carrier pigeon, I've sent a singing telegram and I've written on the bathroom wall.

But I didn't do a paper card. I'm a bad friend.

Oh yeah, you'll get your present in a month. It's not that I haven't bought it yet, I'm just too cheap to FedEx.

Am I just the world's biggest asshole for not feeling mournful that Michael Jackson has died?

Certainly he is a son and a father and those who know him will mourn him. He was an amazing entertainer in his heyday bringing joy to many.

But my issue is this: True, he was proven "not guilty" by a court of law, but statements he made on TV made me seriously doubt the verdict. I wonder if he would've gotten off if he hadn't had such a high-priced team of attorneys at his side.

I don't know if all the Jesus Juice in the world can make me feel differently. He had a rough childhood and was certainly a man with a lot of emotional problems, so you can feel sorry for him... but if he made one sexual advance or touch against any child, I don't think he's worth anyone's tears.

Sometimes a spirited back & forth on livejournal with people with really screwy senses of humor can make a drab day that much more entertaining.

Palin Demands Apology From Letterman

The joke by Letterman:

"'during the seventh inning, her daughter was knocked up by Alex Rodriguez."

Okay, not really that funny, but it's a joke and it's not saying she blew up the Trade Center or anything. Last time I checked, there's still a 1st Amendment.

The retort by Sarah Palin:

"I would like to see him apologize to young women across the country for contributing to kind of that thread that is throughout our culture that makes it sound like it is OK to talk about young girls in that way, where it's kind of OK, accepted and funny to talk about statutory rape," she said. "It's not cool. It's not funny."

NEWSFLASH: YOUR DAUGHTER IS 18! STATUTORY RAPE NO LONGER APPLIES!

But okay, maybe you thought Letterman was actually referring to Willow Palin who is 14 which he claims he wasn't. All I have to say is, "so what if he was?" In a culture that sexualizes teen girls at a very young age from a Miley Cyrus topless photo shoot to stores like the Limited carrying middriff-baring tee's and low-cut jeans bought mostly by young girls, can I ask how anyone is truly suprrised or outraged anymore?

Palin chose a life of politics and in effect has damned her whole family mainly because she tends to shoot her mouth off without thinking and it just attracts more attention - most of it negative.. She knew that any and all of their actions would be documented, studied, discussed and catalogued. Books would be written, TV shows produced, and T-shirts would inevitably enter the fray.

People have drawn comparisons to Chelsea Clinton saying how hands off the press was with her. The major difference was that Chelsea wasn't a white-trash girl whose mother and school gave her virtually no usable sex education and was evidently fucked a boy with a similar backround of a shitty sex education. Even if Chelsea was sexually active at some point before she was 18, she knew how to keep in under wraps and apply her learned knowledge of sex ed NOT to get pregnant.

In any case, Sarah Palin would have been better off leaving the issue alone, at least for her political career. After being characterized as a "Pitbull with lipstick," she's only feeding into that stereotype of herself even more with each word she utters. Instead of actually discussing domestic policy or current events, she feeds more into her celebrity. While some claim Obama's celebrity helped him get elected, last I checked, he actually discussed issues at campaign rallies and didn't really talk a lot about himself.

Take note, Mrs. Palin - that's class. Learn it.

Okay, ONLY Rap video from Arlington, but still awesome!

3 2 People Shot at U.S. Holocaust Museum

Update via NBC4:

"NBC's Pete Williams reported that the gunman was born in 1920. There are rumors he sustained life-threatening injuries.

Two police sources told Williams the gunman is James Wennecker von Brunn, who allegedly has connections with white supremacist organizations and anti-government groups."

Great... just when you thought the far right wasn't getting any crazier than they were before.

David Carradine dead in Thailand of apparent suicide

Serious bummer.

Dear DC female interns and newly graduated young professional women:

I'm all about a free country, but could you please learn that men are transfixed by boobies? When you're in close quarters on the metro, smashed up next to one another, it's best to wear something that doesn't show off your ample cleavage or something that isn't so form-fitting so that each and every square inch of round perfection is seen.

This was pretty much me this morning, just on the metro...



I love a dirty movie as much as most guys, but let's keep the real-life titties in check, 'kay ladies? Get a webcam or be a stripper if you have to show it off. I don't commute to work wearing spandex shorts hugging the outline of my unit.*

You should feel pretty when you're out in the world, but there's a difference between feeling pretty and showing off your tatas. I'm really not sure what these girls/women are trying to accomplish during in their young careers, but prancing around in a low-cut top is not the way to earn actual respect in an office and sleeping with senator is a really bad idea.



*I apologize to anyone who actually visualized me wearing spandex. I'll pay for your first session of therapy.

If I had known "True Christians" were this busty, I would've accepted Jesus at 13.

spacechild, this is what you need to be using to spread the word of the Lord.

I only wish that Metro would do this kind of thing more often and shame more people into either shutting the fuck up or acting like human beings.

But the best part of this video, in my opinion, occurs at the 1:00 mark. ( Watch it first, then click here )

Apparently, I have some Facebook friends who are a "Fan of Laughing."

Seriously, folks... what the fuck? Is that like those old JDate ads I used to see by more insipid versions of my cousins who actually put in their profile, "I love to laugh!"? If you didn't have a sense of humor, I wouldn't associate with you and if you actually have to say up front that you enjoy laughing, then there is something seriously wrong with you if you view the standard mode of life as a non-laughing existence.

If you're a "fan of laughing" then I'm a "fan of breathing."

Facebook is starting to take things to a new retarded level I thought was only reserved for Twitter.

Why the Class of 2009 is Fucked

People need to stop saying, "natch" as a slang for "naturally."

It sounds like something Jason Mewes would say as opposed to something that should appear in a publication.

Despite the scientific fact that music attained perfection in 1994, I'm quite taken with a relatively newly-exposed band called The Silversun Pickups. Despite their "indie" (ie, groan-inducing ironic) name, their music is quite good. It seems to blend an influence of Smashing Pumpkins, Placebo and Sonic Youth. Their wikipedia page lists their genre as "Shoegaze" except that's probably not correct since they don't suck.

I'm wondering if this is a slippery slope down the indie rock waterslide. Next, I'll be wearing ironic t-shirts and hanging out in clubs where I'd have the urge to ask most of the girls there "how much did bread used to cost?" based solely on their outfits.

Okay, enough music jackassery... bottom line: this band is good.

Tonight I see Star Trek.

5 1/2 years ago, I saw and reviewed Star Trek: Nemesis. Around the same time, Star Trek: Enterprise had been on the air for about a year in a widely-reviled first season. The show itself wouldn't find its footing for quality until the 4th season and by that point it was too late. It was at this point that I was willing to let Trek fade into memory as something I loved, but even the best stick of gum loses its flavor.

As I said back then, Rick Berman had ruined the franchise and allowed it to die a slow and painful death. To be fair, it's hard to keep anything fresh that was as overexposed as Trek, but that's exactly what he was responsible for. Spanning a whole decade after the original's cancellation, the show survived in nothing but reruns and a short-lived animated series. Then for about 3/4 of another decade, the franchise survived on films alone. Eventually, by 1993 and for almost a decade after that, there were at least 2 series rolling at any one time, plus more films. I can imagine studio heads looked at it as a "franchise" and Berman probably saw lots of dollar signs with every new show. But as anyone in Hollywood will tell you, more usually does not equal quality.

Most will agree there were hits and misses (lots of hits with TNG, plenty with DS9, few with Voyager and even fewer with Enterpise), but the simple concept of overexposing the current audience with little allowance for expansion of the audience is what did Trek in. All the technobabble plus the rehashed storylines, plus the contrived peripheral characters who always somehow managed to get an undeserved story arc of their own (really, did anyone ever care about Ensign Harry Kim?) made people like me stop watching. I care about the exploration of both space and self - that's what the franchise was always about.

From quoting Shakespeare to shoving a torpedo down a Romulan's nacelle, Trek always seemed to borrow from the classic literary sources that thrilled intellectuals. After hearing Picard's dialogue with Q in Hide & Q, I read Hamlet. I read Henry V after Data performed it on the Holodeck. The best iterations of Trek were inspiring and in my formative years, often shaped my ethos and morality just as much as parents did*...

They taught me the first duty is to the truth, whether it be scientific, historic or personal truth.

I learned that the greatest danger facing us as a species is ourselves and our fear of the unknown and those unknown things should be considered only temporarily hidden waiting to be understood.

I learned that the instinct to be war-like can be fought and overcome. I learned that we are killers but we can make a choice not to kill every day.

I learned that in this galaxy that there's a "mathematical probability of three million Earth-type planets. And in all of the universe, three million million galaxies like this. And in all of that and perhaps more, only one of each of us."

I learned that history has proven again and again that whenever an advanced civilization interferes with a less developed one, no matter how well intentioned that interference may be, the results are invariably disastrous.

I learned that when the first speech is censored, the first thought is forbidden, and the first freedom is denied, it chains us all irrevocably.

And I was taught via Trek, that "it is the unknown that defines our existence. We are constantly searching, not just for answers to our questions, but for new questions. We are explorers. We explore our lives day by day, and we explore the galaxy trying to expand the boundaries of our knowledge."

But when all they did was fly around, get fired at, figure out some convoluted solution involving tachyons and graviton emitters, I and millions of people lost interest. All those dateless wonders who dressed up like Klingons and walked around convention halls were apparently the last ones watching despite the claims they hated the shows just as much as anyone else.

Based on the reviews, this movie is going to be a fun adventure ride, which is fine, but my concern is seeing the elements that made Trek a relevant commentary on politics, science and morality merged into an exciting science fiction premise. Beyond the cheesy costumes and hammy acting of the original series, there was something special there - an idealism that you just can't manufacture or reproduce without truly beleiving it. Some see in this film a chance for something potentially valuable and important to re-enter the public lexicon. I think people are envisioning, possibly unrealistically, that Trek's promise of an Earth without poverty or war is further in reach because of the Obama administration and the progress that will occur as a result. I can't say with any certainty that will happen even remotely as Trek depicted, but Roddenberry was a visionary in the sense that he had faith that mankind was capable of overcoming its problems and creating a more perfect society. And as Edith Keeler said, "Those are the days worth living for."




*To be fair, my Dad was a Trek fan to some degree long before I was born.

I'd totally go drinkin' with Spock!

From More Holidays They Need To Invent

There's not a lot that I can say about X-Men Origins: Wolverine that hasn't been said in countless reviews, particularly the one from Tom Brazelton of Theater Hopper, but I still think I can contribute some mildly thoughtful remarks about the movie.

One thing that I feel is most important about anything regarding the X-Men is part of why I'm so drawn to science fiction in the first place: allegory.

X-Men was always about fear, hatred and oppression of minorities and the battle between the higher idealistic road towards acceptance and the road of reciprocated hatred. The comic and the first 3 films were able to convey that idea no matter which minority was prevalent at the time, be it Jews, Blacks or Gays. (It's a shame that X3 did such a poor job of telling the story, but the allegory was there. It was beaten over the head, but it was there.)

Wolverine might have had the characters and familiar territory to tread, but it was like the person telling the story just didn't care about the overriding themes of what makes the X-Men such a great tool for allegory and metaphor. It was like if Kevin Smith tried to direct Schindler's List. Directors need to be able to speak the language necessary for the movie at hand and just because they directed some kind of arthouse foreign film like Tsotsi or a drama like Rendition doesn't mean that he can do justice to a pop-culture powerhouse like a comic-book movie. Nevertheless, I thought that Hood of all people would get the ideals behind the X-Men and would translate that to the screen.

The story also teased us incessantly with other characters, at least 2 of which (Gambit & Deadpool) I had been waiting to see onscreen for a long time and was thoroughly disappointed with one's lack of established character (and accetn) and the complete lack of screen time for the other. It feels like the bigwigs at Fox like the money game, but don't necessarily care about the general quality of a product otherwise.

My own boss, though issues I may have with him, said something to me that resonated: "It doesn't matter if this will make us money, or 'get by' with minimal criticism. The bottom line is that we don't make a crap product." It'd be nice if studio executives had the same ethos.

I understand that not all cinematic endeavors turn out the way you want, but in the case of comic book movies, there has to be enough people who will come out and say, "This doesn't work." or "We're going to experience some serious critical backlash on this." The most surprising was the fact that Hugh Jackman himself, the man who you can't think of anyone else to play Logan, was a producer - and yet said nothing. Then again, if you look at his actual film history, you'll find quite a few critical flops as well.

On top of all this were the less-than-spectacular special effects. As pragma_x said, they seemed to be "phoned in" without any concept of an environment map. When Logan unsheaths his claws in the Kent's bathroom, there's no visible contrast or shadow to the claws, as if they just threw the outlines and color for the effects in something like MS Paint!

Despite all this, I was entertained, but I could hear the groans in the audience and the groans within my head. Everything seemed forced and trite. I think the worst part was the fact that the promotion of the movie indicated more of an ensemble cast rather than just Logan, but the title of the movie itself was really the better indicator.

I hope to God, that Jackman's talk of a sequel doesn't come to fruition and they find a completely different team to write and direct something along the lines of "X-Men Origins: Magneto." I'd find that ultimately more fascinating as well as more relatable as it would tickle me to see Mr. Lensherr working for the Israelis rounding up Nazis.

Arlen Specter To Switch Parties

Wow. I have my opinion about Specter (a lot consider him a moderate Republican but he kowtowed to party lines more often than not), but it's probably just the fact that his party has gotten even douchier as their voice has gotten smaller.

I'm at the airport waiting for my flight and this story comes on CNN...

Pakistan Allows Taliban to take over town outside capitol

They're already started telling barbers not to shave men's beards, and they're getting rid of music.

If the men want to live in this world, that's just fine - just let the women go to a better country. Then build a wall around them and tell them A) They're on their own and B) to go fuck themselves right in their intolerant violent asses.

I look at this and it worries the shit out of me. Goddamn the Bush administration for bungling the war on terror so absolutely.